'I am taking you with me' 'I am keeping you here...'

So I'm back. From vacation, from the Tour, from everything. This is gonna be huge - get ready!

First, I have to discuss this. So I wake up on Thursday morning to the press screaming about Tour de France winner Floyd Landis. A sample tested after stage 17 (the most amazing stage in cycling history) showed 'abnormal levels of testosterone/epitosterone' in Landis' system and if a second test shows the same results, he could be stripped of his title. My heart broke upon first hearing the news. Why? Why why why why why? Is nothing honest anymore? But then, I started thinking about it. How could someone be so dumb as to take steroids in the middle of a race, and then make the biggest comeback ever in the Tour? Could he really think he wouldn't be tested for every type of drug known to man? The answer is no - he couldn't have. So this leads me to believe him when he says that it's a natural metabolic occurance. This used to happen all the time in the beginning years of the race - people had bad days and their levels dropped, good ones and they went way up. In Floyd's case, they are waiting for a second sample to come back. If the levels are normal, he will be cleared immediately. If not, as will likely be the case, it's going to be trickier. He maintains however, that he has always been one to produce high levels of testosterone and can be tested outside of Tour conditions to prove this. He wants to clear his name, even if it's impossible to clear his reputation. Seriously though, the reasons against a doping case are astounding. How many cyclists were involved in a doping scandal right before the Tour began? 56. And how many were barred from their scheduled start? All nine that were part of the 56, including 2 projected winners. Add to that testosterone is a mass-building horomone that would more hinder than help a cyclist, and maybe Landis has some credibility here. The press does tend to get a bit crazed over this - especially the French concerning American's and their Tour. Personally, I have my fingers crossed. Regardless of this outcome however, the UCI has to do something about doping and cycling. It is officially out of countrol.

Okay, that's out of my system. I am tossing around another Tour-related idea that is absolutely crazy but rather than mention it here and be told a million ways that it is dumb, I'm going to think it over a bit more first. Now we're gonna go back in time and I'm gonna cover a few big events that I missed during the course of the Tour that nonetheless have played a major part in my summer.

Pool Party: The Sequel and The Golden Girls' Reunion

A bunch of other people have covered it already, but as the hostess, I get to, also. So I took off from work on Friday the 14th to get all set up for the festivities. I had to pick K-Laz up from the airport when her plane got in at around 12:20. I was actually nervous, I'd never been to pick someone up from the airport before, so there were a million ways I could mess up. Well, I found the place and after her plane finished taxi-ing around, oh, an hour or so later, we headed home. Much wonderful conversation and music followed on the ride home and as we waited for the others to arrive. Apparently, the time I give for things means nothing, as people show up when they are ready. Fortunately, the parentals are accomodating to out-of-towners. Dino, Kate, George, and Alysssa got to my humble abode at around 4:00 followed by Liz and the night of madness began. Events included:

Jump Contest aka The Leap of Imminent Pain: Let's figure out how flinging ourselves in to the air and water will inflict the most amount of damage on those imitating it afterwards. Awesome. Cartwheels, handstands (which I am no longer allowed to do), toe-touches, leaps (which Dino is no longer allowed to do), and flips that turn into backflops, if you're George, which I imitated to perfection topped the list of death-defying feats. Anyone who was to afraid to attempt, was thrown in, and usually ended up in even more pain as a result.

(insert the arrival of Amanda Greg, Chris, Jo-Anna, Davey and Felicia (from home))

10 on 2 Basketball aka How many people can you have attached to your being in a ten-foot pool before you drown - and more importantly, would you let go of the ball?: This was by far the most insane game of basketball I have ever participated in in my life. I will forever have the image of Dino backing Kelly in to a wall, towering over her, screaming 'WHAT? WHAT?' after he - approximately a foot taller - scored on her. Despite many attempts at drowning various boys, they still beat us. I think it has something to do with the fact that we can't shoot a basket to save our lives, most of the time...or that most of us were about half the size of George and Dino. Chris and Greg have no excuse. My contribution came with a flying leap off the stairs in the more evenly matched game to steal the ball from Chris. No one saw it coming, least of all Felicia, whose head I dove over in the process.

Five Team Chicken Fight aka Not-So-Sudden Death: As we paired off for the second round of chicken fighting, the teams were deep in conversation. About three and a half minutes into the plotting, Jo Anna astutely pointed out that 'It's a chicken fight'. This true statement was mulled over for .087 seconds before it was met by shouts of 'WE ARE STRATIGIZING FOR LIFE' by the males, who promptly went back to planning. After a quick weigh-in, I was deemed least likely to permanently paralyze Davey and we took to the Ring of Death. After a no-holds-barred, "I see boobies", insult-filled battle, I am quite pleased to say that we did not come in last. Fourth, thank you very much. If I was sore waking up the next morning, I do not evny the boys.
(exit a not totally up right Davey, and Alyssa)

Cranium aka Battle of The Sexes: The evening closed out with a not-so-friendly game of Cranium. From my apparently robotic representation of "evolution" and butt-shaped tombstones, to Chris's sacreligious yet futile portrayal of "congregation" and Dino's lack of creativity in acting out Shakespeare's plays it was utterly ridiculous. Jo Anna, Kate and I are unbeatable.

And so concluded the pool party portion of the weekend. After K-Laz's first trip to a Wawa, the remaining Golden Girls, sans Kate, headed off to my grandma's where we talked til the early morning, broke a glass, then slept til 11 AM. Cue Saturday. The morning was spent lounging and chatting at Grandma's. We then headed back to Edgewater to catch up on Stage 12 of the tour, as Liz is my fellow cycling-junkie, and to watch an episode or two of Grey's. Lovely. Then it was off to Collingswood to see the utterly amazing, ever entertaining, indescribably gorgeous Matt Duke. Yum. 'If he sang it, I would do it.' Yes, yes I believe I would. The trip home involved much swooning, and sightseeing of assorted place's one Matt Duke mentioned, and of Moorestown, the best town in America to live two years running - seriously. More Wawa, and then off to bed with us. Sunday morning was the Golden Girl's Church Fashion show. Sorry most of you missed it. Back home to watch stage 13 and get K-Laz and Amanda hooked to the Tour. Amanda, however, though intrigued could not understand much of the common courtesies of the tour. "Dear Bobke - why aren't they better?" And so concluded an amazing weekend - the girls headed off, I took Kelly to the airport and went home to a much emptier house in sadness. The evening, to raise my spirits, Christopher and I taught ourselves the beginning dance sequence of Tango: Maureen. We are amazing.

Family Values

Tuesday was much more interesting than I expected it to be. I had taken off from work to chaperone my six-year-old cousin Tommy's trip to the Franklin Institute with his Day Care. Having discovered that I was cool enough to be introduced to his friends, the following conversation ensued:
Thomas: 'Well, you have a boyfriend, don't you?'
Me: (amazed I'm discussing my relationship status with my six year old cousin) '...actually I don't anymore'
Thomas: 'Huh...well what happened?'
Me: (still amazed) 'He, uh,er...found a new girlfriend...'
Thomas: 'Oh...I liked Brian'
Me: '...guh-der-i-ah...I did too...'
Thomas: '...well?'
Me: 'He found a new girlfriend, too.'
Thomas: (deep in thought) 'huh...' (pause) ' Why don't you date him?' (gestures to freckle-faced boy in his class)
Me: (Looking from Thomas, to boy, and back to Thomas) 'Tom - how old is he?'
Boy: (self-satisfied) 'I'm ten.'

Me: 'Right.'

Ladies and gentlemen, my life has hit a new low. But that will forever be my favorite exchange with Thomas Seeds, my bleeding heart, ever helpful cousin.

Jersey's Finest

More moments with Thomas followed this past week as my entire maternal side of the family headed down to the Jersey Shore for our annual Sea Isle trip. Can I just say that I love that my two uncles own a house down there but we don't stay in it because our family's too big? Yeah - try fifteen, plus Jenna or another friend I bring with. This trip, whether I admit it or not, and whether my family believes it or not, has always been and still is my favorite part of the summer. Highlights included:

(as my brother shared his music with Tom)
Aunt Martha: Do you know what your listening to Tom?
Tom: '...no.'
My Mom: 'Oh, it's that Party at the Psycho.'
Me: 'Panic! at the Disco, Mom? Party! at the Psycho? Seriously? Seriously, Mom?'

- Will Grogan, Jenna, and I laughing for hours on end - 'MAX! MAKE ME A TURKEY SANDWICH!'
- Cousin Kelsey and I getting asked 'If we'd met Johnnie Ray?' and four questions by lifegaurds (1. SPF of preference, 2. Three people we'd spend the last day of our lives with 3. Gorgeous and bland personality or hideous and hysterical for a husband? 4. Supporter of gay marriage)
- The entire clan going to play miniature golf.
- Felicia and I walking 10 miles and sitting on the huge rocks in the tide pool, discussing the future and how we seriously want to settle down.
-Planning the future bar crawl and reward cruise.
-Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Seriously, this vacation was beautiful. Not nearly long enough though. I didn't get o go surfing with Will and I miss it like crazy. Just like I missed him. Our mom's were best friends at Holy Cross, we grew up together. I taught him the dangers of fire when our families went to Vermont when we were toddlers and he taught me to surf last summer. He is my perfect partner in comedy. And I don't see nearly enough of him. Spending time with Jen on Sunday was nice even if we just stayed in and watched movies. And Felicia and I had a great time at the end of the week. Seriously, despite our falling out last summer, she is still my closest friend from Holy Cross. Even with all of the changes, we have the most in common. I love it. And Havana Nights? I'm serious, people. I didn't want to watch it - she made me - and I love her for it. Jesus, why can't that be me? I want to go to Cuba and meet a ridiculously sweet boy and have him teach me to dance and wear amazing clothes and gaaaaahhhhh. Watch it and tell me I'm wrong.

Come Together

My beach trip was broken up and cut a few hours short by my running back and forth for play practices. We are off book, final line call is on Monday. It's going well. Today was a huge tech day. Prop Hunt 2006: Team Eta! I got to work box office. ATTENTION!!!! If you are interested in coming to see The Matchmaker, August 9-12 at 8 PM in Cinnaminson, NJ please let me know so I can reserve you a ticket. The Theater is small and we do SELL OUT. They are $10 when you pick them up the night of. I love box office. We had a workshop on stage managing - I have a huge huge respect for them, They do more work then you could ever realize. Then we had a costume parade - I am in love, L-O-V-E love with my costumes and hats. Vintage and amazing - I was born in the wrong century. I painted (and got paint on my shoe =( ) and clean paint off the carpet a million times. More importantly over the last few weeks the cast and crew is getting close. Finally. They're amazing, really. So tech week is almost upon us, and I can't wait! Love the part, love the clothes, love the people - love theater.

This post has made me very happy, so I will not dwell on the few icky things that have been occurring, because they are vastly outnumbered by the good. Vastly. Here's to hoping that sticks around.