Forgive me if I slip away...

Josh Groban. I wish my words were half as beautiful as his. I wish my voice was worthy of speaking the same language...or a language from the same common mother-tongue. It's not. I forget how much I appreciate him. And then this CD comes out. I was blown away. He made use of his falsetto on this one - to great success. So much control over his voice. I feel compelled to convince you to give it a listen. I figure I'll stick to the English songs for now - I'll translate the others eventually. But for now...

Don't Give Up (You Are Loved)
I worried after the opening peice - a powerful Italian number - this would lose something. I was so wrong. He almost made me believe it; I'd be loved by Josh Groban any day. Perhaps a song to look to when things get rough this year.

February Song
I can not wait until February so this can be my song quote in my AIM profile. So sad. But already, this is my new theme song - the origin of my title today. Rings true to me in so many ways. A safe song. Tied for favorite with

So She Dances
Positively haunting at the beginning and then completely uplifting in the middle. Mark my words, I will choreograph a routine to this. Ideally with a guy who will be willing to dance, and with other people. But I will dance alone to it if I have to ('I will dance so freely - holding on to no one' - Let Me fall, also by Joshy) I can see it so clearly in my head - I wish I had a reason to put this together and show it off. I can barely sit still and listen to it.

In Her Eyes
Of course it's partially the title, but this one does remind me of Jekyll and Hyde. It's a very good compliment to In His Eyes. I have to wonder if it influenced him, particularly the piano part.

Now or Never
I liked this one right away - very ...driving. It seems forceful in away - I guess it makes sense according to the title - I'm having trouble finding words for this one. Some of the lyrics I love...others I give my 'really?' look to occasionally. But still, beautiful.

Lullaby
I will sing this to my children one day. Or play it for them nightly. It would lose something if I did it - the harmonies. It's starts out a cappela. And then piano comes into accompany. It paints a picture of a father tucking in his little child perfectly - you can see him brushing back a curl of hair and turning out the light. I'm going to see this scene for real one day. Look at that hope.

Weeping
I guess if I had to have a least favorite one, this would be it. It has a sort of African flair to it - it's like a story. Still, if this is my least favorite, it's clear that I'm in love with this CD.

Machine
When I read the title of this I thought immediately of what the background music should be like - it should sound almost metallic, definitely mechanical - as the name suggests. Damned if it didn't - which made me feel like I knew what I was talking about for once. Distinctly different from any of his other songs. More synthetic. And jazzy. There is a part that sounds exactly like Fields of Gold by Sting, which makes me happy as that song was my childhood. Other parts remind me of Michael Buble meets Michael Tolcher. Which makes me smile. Horns make me think of Matchbox 20. All my favorites rolled into one song with a pretty good result.

Awake
The title track. My goodbye 2006 song. Perfect. Piano, words I can relate to, and that voice...that voice. I'm such a sucker for a distinct voice.
And I know that only time will tell us how
To carry on without each other

So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

Yeah.

My mind is wandering again. Making lists and boundaries. Cans and Can nots. I feel myself compelled to do strange things sometimes. Like now.

My first boyfriend is dead. His name is - was - Shawn. Drugs. Kindly stop jumping to conclusions. We were two when he was my boyfriend, when it was nothing but innocence. He was a cousin of a cousin on the other side. We danced at our aunt and uncle's wedding. Video records show he spent a good portion of the night avoiding me. Some things never change. It was one of those things family members joke about forever. He was 20 days younger than me. He died on his birthday this past year. We hadn't been in touch for years. I would see him briefly at family parties - where we'd smile sheepishly at each other blushing at the memory of the relationship that had essentially been forced on us by those around us. Where does one go from having been together and broken it off before either of us could really speak in full sentences? We took 'different paths'. ('And it's no one's fault/ there's no black and white/ And as the hours run away/ with another life/ darling, can't you see it's now or never?' sings Joshy) But I would never think of him anything but fondly. But why now? For Christmas, the aunt and cousins we shared gave me a simple gift. I openned the picture frame upside down, nervous at what it might show. Expecting an embarrasing face with the girls and I, I laughed nervously as I turned it over. And then my breath caught. I knew of so many pictures - tricycles in the kitchen on top of a red dress with white apron perfectly complimenting a white shirt with red bow tie half hidden by a pooh-bear birthday cake. I'd never seen this one before. It's in my pool. Something has our attention in the deep end as we watch on the steps. My stomach is hanging out (I repeat, some things never change). He is precious. The whole scene is. So candid. How do you go from one to the other? We were both there. So why am I here now without him? Not to say we would be together in a romantic sense at all - I had broken up with him over the Price Is Right at the sitter's house...He wasn't paying enough attention to me. I recall he was devestated. But no one had any idea. And I looked at the picture on Christmas as I look at it now - torn between smiling at the memory and wanting to scream 'do something different and change what's coming'. The Butterfly Effect. Such a strange thing to think of. It's just a picture.

Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Till he opens his eyes
Opens his eyes

Where is that simple day
Before colours broke into shades
And how did I ever fade into this life
Into this life

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
And all that I've got is lost and found
I promise you, I
I'll come back to you one day