A Semi-Automatic Smile

'One must try to recover memory - it has so many hiding places...'

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Forces me out of bed...

My mind won't turn off tonight.

February 15th. Tomorrow. Birthday. Miss him. Miss her. April 8th. Horrible weekend. Break up was inevitable. Didn't need you. Just someone that day. Missed her. Who else? That's right. Forgot she was gone. I literally felt gravity upon remembering. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Last time I felt this way was the day before. September 3rd. It was louder outside then. Frustrated tears then. For the first time in five months. It's been over six since. None since. Nunsense. Need to pick a musical. Need to make a show. Need to make a dance. Need to write a lab. Need to plan a party. Need to make people happy. Need to see him and him. Need to see her and her. Six months. Four years. For years, days stick. September 3rd. April 8th. February 15.

I will see faces in my dreams tonight and in the morning I will be torn about whether to leave them or stay.