Seasons of Love

Yes, Val, Jesus does speak through iTunes.

This morning, I heard Frank Sinatra's 'My Way,' Simon and Garfunkle 'Bridge Over Troubled Water', Gary Jules' 'Mad World,' Yellow Card's 'Believe,' 5 For Fighting's '100 Years,' Josh Groban's 'You Raise Me Up,' New World Symphony's Largo Movement, Coldplay's 'Yellow' and 'We Never Change,' Jack Johnson's 'Breakdown,' and the the piece de resistance - 'Seasons of Love' from Rent

I was on my way to my Aunt Ellie's funeral.

I find it a cruel irony that the way to the funeral home took me past the church where Mrs. Sena's memorial service was held three and a half years ago. I got there at 9:10 for a viewing that started at 9. There were already fifty people there. By the time we made it over to the church at noon, there were easily 500 people present. They filled the church,the crypt chapel, the back vestibule, and they had to set up speakers outside so people could hear the service. There were 31 priests there, as my Uncle Jim is a deacon and his brother is a priest himself. My Aunt Ellie loved an audience - she would have been thrilled.

My mom met Ellie Boylan when she was in third grade and Ellie was in fourth. They went to SCB catholic school and became fast friends. Aunt Kathy and Aunt Louise joined the group in high school. My mom, Kathy, and Louise did costumes - the Elves (to the Holy Cross kids - you know the Elf Room? Yeah, that's how it got it's name) My dad was a recent grad helping with stage crew, Uncle Shawn (who would come to marry Aunt Kathy) was on stage, with a fiery, scene-stealing little Irish girl - my Aunt Ellie. At 5 foot if she was very lucky, Aunt Ellie had a stage presence people still marvelled over long after she stepped off the stage. She had the role of Dolly in 'Hello, Dolly' her sophomore year. I never got to see her perform. But she was the one I would get nervous to have come see me in anything I ever did. IT was senseless - she would never judge - but I always heard how good she was from my parents - I never thought I could compare. I don't think I ever did.

Aunt Ellie married my Uncle Jim - a St. Joe's Prep boy (gasp!) on a ridiculously rainy evening. My mom had to help her into a trashbag so her wedding dress wouldn't get ruined. They had three boys - Will, Jimmy, and Tommy. Will became one of my best friends. This made my mom and Aunt Ellie so happy - you could see it in their faces when we would play together.

I was two, Will less than a year, and we were in Vermont - I taught will not to touch the stove - 'Hot'.

I was 5, Will was 3, we were ballroom dancing in my living room in the summer. A picture shows Aunt Ellie laughing on a chair behind us.

I was 16, Will was 14 and we were at a scholarship brunch for Holy Cross. The Woodward-Lorscheider and Boylan legacy continued.

We did our first show together that year, he and I. The more memorable show was A Christmas Carol when Will and I played Mr. and Mrs. Crachitt. Our parents would laugh at how scary it was as Will and I gathered our four children four a picture and made inappropriate comments about our rippled son/daughter - 'Not in front of the children, dear.' Will stopped doing shows to wrestle, but Aunt Ellie was always there too watch them. She was on PTA and a million other things but made it out.

I graduated. They were there. My graduation party, they were there. Will and I asked for their crazy high school and college stories, got halfway through one involving putting my dad's hair in curlers and ran screaming.

I broke up with Brian - Will was there to teach me to surf, Aunt Ellie was there to offer their shore house.

I left for school. 22 months ago I got a phone call from my mom saying Aunt Ellie had nearly died. They caught the ovarian cancer very late and Uncle Jim asked would please say a prayer. For some reason, I felt that wasn't enough hand actually went to 1:00 mass that day. She made it through, but things were rough from there on out.

She went into remission for awhile - I had never been so happy. But the cancer came back. Still, she was so strong. She made it to Will's prom. We talked at promenade about little things I remember being really happy to see her and telling her I'd have my mom call. She was at Will's graduation. She made us take a picture and it came out beautifully. She was at Relay for Life this June, but she was tired.



The last time I saw my Aunt Ellie was so fitting. She came to see Smile - a show I couldn't stand in so many ways, but loved in so many others. Will and I have never been as close as were over the course of this summer. She almost couldn't make it to the show. She started having blood clots. But nothing would keep her from the boys she loved so much. She refused a walker - 'I'm not fifty - no way in hell am I using a walker!' and opted for a wheelchair instead. I had the first line in the show and with the lights the way they were, I couldn't see more than 3 people in the audience. But she was right here. I gave my monologue to her. And she smiled at me.

My Aunt Ellis died on Monday from complications due to ovarian cancer. She was surrounded by her friends and family. She was loved. And that's the one thing she wanted more than anything. Love. Not for herself, but for others. Will gave the most beautiful eulogy I ever heard today. And he told us to love. Make it a verb again.


So i start with him. My William. I've cried so much in the last week not for me, and not for Aunt Ellie, because she's at peace now - I know it - but for my Will. I know he doesn't ask for it, but he more than anyone, along with his dad and brothers, did not deserve this. These are good people. Why do they lose their wife and mother now while people far worse then they take their own loved ones for granted everyday? It doesn't make sense to me how these things happen. Aunt Ellie would tell me not to try. But when I saw Will today my heart broke.

'My starlight,' he said. 'My sunshine,' I said back and gave him a hug. I had been waiting all week for that and told him as such. He kissed my forehead and asked how I was as tears poured down my face. I told him I was supposed to ask him that. He said, we need to ask each other. I asked how school was - he loves Scranton already. But I told him he always had a spot at La Salle. I hugged Jimmy and Tommy and asked Tommy how his first day of high school went. He said he liked it a lot. I told him Holy Cross would be good to him, like it was to all of us. I walked over to my Aunt Ellie and she didn't look like her. She wasn't smiling and laughing. But there were flowers everywhere. And family and friends. My parents knew literally 3/4 of the people there. They'd all gone to school together. Everyone knows each other from Holy Cross. I liked that today. So many people asked how I was. I was touched. They were my family.

After going to the cemetery, he reception was held, so fittingly, in Holy Cross's cafeteria. IT was the only place big enough. Saying goodbye to Will was harder this time then it ever has been before. I couldn't stop hugging him. But neither of us were crying. I finally gave him the mailer from La Salle I'm on the cover of - we went in to our typical 'Scrubs'-esque scenario making about how I came up with my quotes for it. It was as it should be. Between us there was love. Around us shared among family and friends - so many family and friends - there was love. And through it all was my Aunt Ellie, no doubt basking in the love for her and for each other.

I love you Aunt Ellie.
Sunrise: December 5, 1957 - Sunset: September 3, 2007
May angels lead you in.